How To Eat While T**** Is President
Your rage is butter. Your bitterness a warm crusty baguette. Slather it in the honey of your wrath and stuff a too big chunk of it into a throat that is choking anyway on all the unsayable things. Chew chew chew and chew…
Have Another
You always wanted to know: So, what happens when you eat fourteen corn dogs?
First off, you win. Even if the dude next to you–who only ate nine corn dogs–is declared the “official” winner of the contest because of some lame technicality, because beers count as points.